when everything falls apart

When everything falls apart, what do you hold onto? When you feel like you've jumped off the cliff and you're falling a million miles an hour to ground...what do you reach out for? I guess for me it is hope and strength. The last 2 years of my life have been beautiful and wonderful in many ways-- but I also feel like in other ways I have launched myself off this never ending cliff. Bad choices, being dishonest with myself, not feeding my soul with what it really desires..have lead me here...and I have no idea how to get back. No idea how to make things right...if you shatter a vase into a million pieces can you super glue it back together, I feel like Im trying to put mine back together with electric tape...what a mess. The popular phrase, "yolo" is ...trendy but it is also very true. You only have on shot, what do you want your chance to look like? For me, I crave relationship, passion, communication and to dream wild dreams and feverishly pursue them. When you love someone, it is easy and effortless to bend yourself inside and out for them. Love costs nothing. But what happens when you love someone and they don't love you? Then what? There are few things as painful as loving and desiring someone and they just don't feel that way for you. So what do you do with that? Do you give up and walk away, if someone doesnt love you and say, "well if they don't love me, then its not worth my while."? I don't know, I don't know if we can do that.... Life is really fricking complicated. Two doors. How do you ever choose? But when you do, you have to make the choice to be at peace with the choice. Maybe we should be thanking god we only go around once ha!